Veronika Feels Regression

The idea of ending one's life when things deteriorate is an international practice; Whenever depression becomes rooted in one's life or his/her financial situation lessens, or social standing becomes on the stake, then the option the end all that directly goes to killing thyself. I am not going to talk religiously about that, I wanna restrict the brief discussion about what Veronika did to her young soul.

If you still don't know who Veronika is, or wondering who she might be, here is the brief:

Veronika is a young (24ish) Slovenian lady, living in the small Slovenian capital Ljubljana. She decided to kill herself for reasons she didn't even know, but related her suicide attempt to a magazine article wondering where Slovenia is!! That looks awkward and weird, but thats what Paulo Coelho wanted it to be.

Thats Veronika, in her overdosed pill intake, she went in a coma for several days and was taken to a sanitary center to discover that her heart was affected and she still has few-counted days to live. through these days, she started recalling her act, regretting it sometimes, but once such a feeling floated over her mind, she pushed it back down, down til it never show again. She remained stubborn, that her death attempt has a cause and should be taken to the end.

What I liked through the story "Veronika Decides To Die" by Paulo Coelho besides the act of commiting suicide and its outcomes of self destruction and the validity of the forces triggering it is the idea of defining peole as mad or normal. In a story that Sedka (a supposedly mad woman in the sanitary) passed to Veronika, while the later was trying to find out if all people in the sanitary were mad, attracted my attention, and the story is as follows:

In a certain peiod and place, an evil magician was trying to take over a kingdom in order to control it. The relation between the king and his congregation was strong enough for the magician to ruin. The Magician decided to disolve a certain substance in the kingdom well, used to supply the people by drinking water, that will turn them mad in a way they will consider all their king's actions insane and they will revolt against him. Few days, people started to go mad, and they started to view all of their king's actions and practices insane. The king, used to drink froma seperate well, realised the greater opposition he was facing and he decided to leave the crown. His wife didnt accept that, and though for what reason that may have driven all those people bad. She decided to drink from the public's well. After that, the king got mad too and then his people started to realize his efficiancy and positive input and decided to keep him as king.

The idea there is that the definition of bein mad or not is not a standard; simply, what is normal for French people is insane for arabs for example; and what normal for Indians is madness for Japanese...etc. And that was Veronika's mission in that story to find.

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Weekend Outside

Last weekend was my first weekend I felt I enjoyed. I went out the routine that I suffered from, although the other weekends where also great where I spent most of the time with a friend I knew. But this time it was different; maybe with the company, or maybe because I felt more into Dubai's life away from being intrinsic and insistant on bringing Beirut or my Lebanese habits into here. I succeeded and I am sure I will have other joyful weekends in the future.

What made last weekend maybe different is not the context or the place we went into, I insist that its something inside my head that exploded due to the heat and generated all that positive energy, which I really needed in order to start a new working week; without that, I would have definitely went into recession.

Usually during daytime, in this hot climate, nothing can be made unless if a cold-water pool is nearby. Other than that, sitting home or visiting a mall will be the greatest achievement. Night time is the peak. Leaving home at 9:00 pm and heading to the empty-yet bars in Jumeira City, sitting there are sipping a wild shot of vodka, martini, or simply a beer. Listening to the band's oldies, and looking to other present faces and their expressions regarding anything that is taking place. We chatted alot, we joked, we drank, weate, and then we decided after a 3 hour sit there to change the place and go to the amazing Trader Vics rest and pub, with all the Latino climate it holds and all the Spanish rythyms generated from the band, where the two blond, tall ladies unttered the words and swayed on the music.

We took the bar, we ordered the heavy Tiki Poka Poka, a wild Vodka drink that comes in a glass bowl topped with an orange-tree blossom over its pinky color. Looking around, chatting, people dancing, gazes from here and there, people moving inside and outside, a nice place in all means, and I can say I enjoyed the place more than any other place in Dubai. It's simply classy.

Salsa songs, neverending, triggered a group of young men and women to master th floor with their amazing movements. I was really taken by their achievement. I still can't forget the red-dressed lady and her professional professional moves rotating around her guy, swaying towards the floor and keeping her smokey eyes intact to him, caring less to her 10 cm shoe wear inside which rests her red-nailed fingers. That raised my curiosity to approch her and ask her where did she learn that undescribable dance. After a couple of retreats, I took the chance and head the way to her. I asked, she replied soo friendly.

She talked english better than an English. But that didnt stop her from slipping an arabic-Lebanese dialect word. OOh, you are Lebanese, yes I am, me too, from where, where did u learn that, ouh you just have to have the love for it. Only six courses I took made me reach this level... ONLY six courses??? Ouh yes, I loved it thats why; ok, then where can I learn that; Just go to the bla bla place at this time and u will find all the teachers there, u have just to choose.

That was the dialogue that took place with the black-eyed make-up'ed' lady. I felt happier than before, and that also continued to fuel me with postive energy to continue through the next working week.

Till today, Tuesday May 15th, I am still fueled with that energy which I hope It never end. If I felt it so, I will undergo the same process next weekend.

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Dubai's Survival

Whenever we try to imagine about the demographic and the geographic constitution of Dubai to judge, we are aimed to get wrong. Whatever the images the media transmits to the outer world still doesn't convey the real touch of life that this peice of Arabia is experimenting; No body, and I am very sure of that, would have imagined in the 1980s or even after that through the early 1990s that Dubai will undergo a revive with all what have occured now to be in mind. Maybe architecture wise, everything was possible; with the presence of a huge budget to build, whatever kind of huge structures may be implemented and whatever plan of transportation network can be paved, and whatever Hospitality may be achieved. It wasn't a surprise for Dubai to become a Miidle East Center for development and stability, stealing from Beirut what it once was in the 1960s, especially now that Dubai with its amazing Media City is the hub of all kinds of broadcast material, from news, entertainment, religious, to educational.

Everything would have happened but to imagine that Dubai, a part of the Islamic Arabia, to become a leisure destination, no one maybe have thought of. But can Dubai survive without its huge leisure sector that generates millions and millions od dollars and constitute a remarkable absorbant of labor workforceboth regional and international, I personally say NO; capital N capital O.

It is known that in order to generate a good working environment, you should provide the production input, here foriegnors being one, with the means for survival and living. Without the presence of the night-life schema, definitly there will remain no means for the European and Western as well as the remarkable Eastern community to insist on working in Dubai. Without the night life leisure, which is an unablated part of their way of living, definitly they wouldn't sacrifice a big portion of their lives living as working machines in a desert without being entertained. But my fears here resides in the presence of regional Islamic radicalist movement, Al Qaida being one, which threatens all kinds of westernization whenever it presenced, Dubai being in the center or in the eye of the hurricane. How much can the tranquility and peace remain, no body can tell; But if a simple accident took place and was related to any terrorist activity, then this will provide a tremendous down-turn in Dubai's economy and its futuristic plan.

I hope the contrast to take place.

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Gooo LATINO

It wasn't that late yesterday; around 10:00 pm. The whole thing came spontaneous without any pre-planning. The time, the place, and the climate where typical for an unforgettable night to taste and drink Latino food, listen and dance on Latino rythyms, and mix with people with various nationalities sitting in the cozy atmosphere, wooden decorations, mellowed design, and carved walls. Its typical to go there when you feel yourself so "Cubish".

Lit candles are spread in the hall, one on each table, dimmed to participate in the ambience creation and to increase the level of harmony and warmth in the conditioned place. What attracted my attention, is the water droplets dropping from the outer faces of the windows facing the sea, which appeared as if we are having a dinner in a rainy Cuban night. But here it wasn't raining at all; the high humidity and temperatures reacted with the cooled windows which created the raining effect.

To go into some particular details about what was taking place inside; Coupled men, women, or men & women took there places. A laugh from here, a voice from there, chiming spoons & forks, and moving maids all tenderly participated in giving the place its classy touch. Full fashioned ladies, well-suited men, well-rapped indians, and some casuals', me being one, surrounded with the breath-taking food odour and all glamoured by the Cuban band playing professionaly on their tools and singing endlessly Latino songs from which I knew some, and never heard of others, but all very amazing.

After some dining, the tone of the music rised. People, especially couples, left their tables and started dancing on the wooden floor. Some were good, others were less good, and some others were just trying to catch up with the mood. But in general it was a nice tabloid to watch. Facial expressions varied from person to person. Ladies usually, especially professional dancers, took away any smile and took a seriuos look, that look of JLo in "Shall We Dance". Others had an endless smile, white teeth all across their jaws, heavy looks, and floor-directed gazes. Men usually were less hyper, especially those who appeared to be mixed up about what to dance; they created their own cocktail of arabian-mexican-latin-western dance. It looked against the scene.

Things didnt appear to calm down at 12:00 am. The floor was crowded with dancers, the music was even higher, and attendants never stopped to enter. But as we all have to wake up early the next morning, we found the best thing to do is to leave Cuba and go back to Dubai. To the hot and humid reality, to the wide spread and endless desert, to the never-ending scrapers, and to the unlimited horizon.

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Cartoons... Brought From Our Childhood

Among the luckiest generations in the arab region are those with in the age interval of 22 to 35 or those born between 1972 and 1985, for a simple reason, the cartoon material that they used to watch.

Whoever you ask from this age group to name a program he/she used to watch, a similar group of answers will be acquired: Grendizer, Jonger, Sasooki, Al Rajol Al Hadidi, Bel & Sebastian, Zeina & Na77oul, Adnan wa Lina, Jazeerat Al Kanz, etcetera etcetera of aimed material that we were brought up with. The thing is, when I watch them nowadays, on youtube.com, I regain the feeling of that child waiting curiuosly infront of the thick-grey-concex TV screen, mesmerized there with a high level of sensational focus. We didn't use to analyze the material during that days; What we knew was that a problem was supposed to take place and the hero or group of heros were supposed to counter-attack the problem and save the world, and thats it. But today, after the great advance in animation technology, a HUGE bunch of material is available, accompanied with an even "Huger" boquet of TV stations ready just to get the tapes and air them for the kids-time interval without, in my opinion, to any kind of material analysis and evaluation for the educational outcome. Old kinds of carefully selected material raised patriotism in us, this is at least what I configured today after reading an intensive analysis of it. Today, its just something aimless, caharacters moving, special effects, illusionary and corruptive concepts, weak language, even weaker dialogue, and most clearly a 100% commercial program that promotes the "heros" of the series and advertise within the same period the presence of chewing gums or lollypops or whatever that has the sticker ot dummy doll of the characters. How silly and cheap I can't imagine.

The idea here is not opposing the new stuff being aired; and not everything Japanese will be a boom; on the contraray, among the various japanese productions that had been selected during the late 60s, the essence of them were chosen carefully and evaluated for the entertainment as well as the educative theme that will follow and definitly brought out by a very careful selection of deviated senarios (language being a big part) that will suit the arabic audience and children in particular.

What we need today, is the revitalization or the recreation of the Gulf Institute of Program Production, which was responsible for the great productions in our days. Such monitored institutes, with the expertise that was invested in them, would regenerate and give the momentum for a new generation of purposeful material to build a solid ground for raising our children on at least peaceful, tolerant, and moderate basis.

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Once Upon A Time in Lebanon !!

Yammouni - 1891 - Lebanon

Zahle, Lebanon - 1891 - Lebanon

Zahleh - 1896 - Lebanon


Sour (Tyr) - 1898 - Lebanon

Tripoli - 1896 - Lebanon

Universite St. Joseph - Beyrouth - 1892

Plage de Batroun - 1893 - Lebanon

Qannoubine - 1898 - Lebanon

Qannoubine - 1898 - Lebanon

Ras Baalbeck - 1896 - Lebanon

Saydah vue du Sud - 1898 - Lebanon

Jebeil (Byblos) - 1893 - Lebanon

Maison a Beyrouth - 1892 - Lebanon

Nabi Younis - 1898 - Lebanon

Nahr Al Kalb - Louaizeh - 1894 - Lebanon

Notre Dame - Dleptah - 1894 - Lebanon

Hasroun - 1898 - Lebanon

Harajel - 1894 - Lebanon

Ghazir - 1893 - Lebanon

ps: click the photo for a larger view


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Cycles of Energy

Some times I feel that the whole world cannot contain me from the joy and happiness I feel, the selfconfidence I hold, and the optimistic view to life I have. This makes me feel in peace and harmony with myself and empowers me to continue the way no matter what others may say or throw about a certain thing I did, still doing, or intend to do in the future. I cannot ignore that I am easily affected by the words of other people, and I feel that I am meant in any statement they say even though they are saying it in a completey different context. But then, I watch the development of the dialogue and conclude that I wasnt meant or the words werent intentioned to leave an effect in myself.

Other times I start to hate myself; I start to bring and gather all the passimism of the world until I cannot handle it any more. I begin evaluating what I have did in my life in a completely negative approach. Its not a self-criticism process, I know that, because it doesnt lead to a corrective action. Its just a summation a negative energy blowed into my mind thats doesnt aim to anything but deconstructing my self confidence and make me feel that I live in the fringe of life, not in its center. I cant describe how I feel. I start seeing everything awkward, meanigless, aimless, and causeless. I can't find after that any spot of light that may raise my spirit again. This really annoys me until I configure that its useless to remain thinking of the whole thing and then retreat into bed whatever the time in order to dissiminate the bad energy away from my mind and start undergoing a process of self-recompilation that drives me into another neutral state where I can start again, and find another cause of completing what I was doing before, positively.

What remains is the reason for all the optimism or the passimisn that comes an goes, It may be the new environmrnt I am living in, or the work pressure, or the new faces am seeing through the day, I really don't know, the future will tell.

ps: missed appostrophes are intentioned

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Attracted to HINDU

I dont know, why these days I am becomming thinking seriuosly in visiting India! Maybe I know the source that triggered this process, but after thinking of it, I really want to visit that place, and get to know its culture and its people from within. Usually, we Lebanese, generalize our stereotypes until we become dealing with them as realities, and thats the case with Hindu people.

I want to get out of this, I want to discover the reality behing India and its charming nature through a visit maybe will be scheduled within a year. I will be heading north, because usually the north is the essence where raiky or yoga priests florish.

If you wanna come, just tell me.

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A Song I Remembered

If you ever watched De'De' on LBC, then you should have listened to that song. I dont know why it came to mind today in particular!!!!

I dont remember it all, but here is a couple of lines:

it says:

Grandfather, has a garden
He loves it very much
and a scarecrow in the middle says
BIRDIES.... dont touch.

bla
bla
bla

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Friendship Styles

Everyone can't live without him/her or them. Friends, as the proverb says, are angles, but when these angles are born without wings, we call them friends. And this is completely right.
We all have friends, we like them, we love them, we feel comfortable talking to them, tell them our problems, our secrets, or thoughts, our plans, our feelings, etc. Its the soul that has a different essence, taste, and odor than our parents, our brothers & sisters, and maybe our cosins. We like them, and we like spending time with them.

We know them from our childhood, from our kindergarden, elementary school, highschool, or college; A minority is found during our career life. But the rule says that the older you know a friend, the closer you feel to him/her, the better the relation.

We either have played in the fields, spotted out T-shirts with mud, climbed the trees, picked the flowers, played hide & seak, or gathered around a newly bought battery car and were astonished by its behaviour. In that case, we know their history, their background, their parents, their way of thinking and we got used to dealing with them whatever the situation, wherever the place, whichever the time.

Nowadays, we are starting to witness a changing in the way people do frienships. They are trying to increase the database of their friends' list using the advanced technology methods like msn, yahoo, facebook, blogging, etc. I don't oppose such ways of communication, but sometimes the way and the style these ways are implemented may destruct the newly born relation or maybe the cause and aim and the intention of the person we are seeking differs and thus the outcome.

On a personal level, I have passed through both experiences. I found verygood friends who l like and satisfied with them as firends, and other came and left with or without a trace, it doesnt matter.

For those who I knew through the internet, I tell them stay in touch, for those who left I dont mind the effort to say a word.

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DUBAI NOW

A NEW LIFE IN A NEW PLACE

The first time I write, while I am now in a completely different environment, a completely different climate, a completely different system of habits, and a completely different way of life. All what I used to do before has now ended. The free time I used to have, the late wake-up habit has vanished, tasting my Mom's food and having a cup of coffee with her in the morning has ended, smelling the fresh mountaineous breeze and touching the nature's beauty is postponed, watching my favorate series or programs is up-held, and my own car is now inaccessible. Why all that...? Simply, I moved to Dubai.

Everything seems different except the presence of my fellow Lebanese. Huge buildings standing on the edges og the 40 meters wide highway, the 150 floors Burj Dubai is still climbing up, crains are spread all over the landscape as if an octopus is trying to take over the area, the humid-hot airflow ruling the neighborhoods, and resorts flashing far away in the horizons to invite nightlife seekers in. In a word its a desertous version of New York City.

Until a period of time, I will discover DNYC. I will dig it out and find where I can find places and people who are my type, whom I like to be with, to talk to, and to be-friend with. Until then, maybe I will start feel a sence of belinging to this piece of the world, with a slight different change, i.e. higher temperatures.

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