I am in the DEAD Zone

There is nothing harder than being in an area where u feel yourself loosing time or space in exchange for nothing. Thats my situation nowadays. I finished all my requirements for getting a chanllenging job, i got many offers, and replied to some of them, still waiting for others, and most of them are appealing and somehow may fulfill my anxiety for a professional position in the future.

But in the time elapsing, day after day of waiting, i start feeling some danger, or more definitely scared; scared of loosing a particular offer or them forgetting my application.

I feel myself sitting in the middle of no-where, waiting for a balloon or anything to lift me up and save me; save me from time-loosing and unproductive time investment, although i am becomming politically over charged, since most of my readings are politics-related.

come lift me up, i dont want to loose more time from my [life interval]

END

Graduation Part II

Friday, September 29th will host my commencement ceremony at NDU campus in Zouk. I don't know why i have a suspicious feeling; I feel that something horrible will happen till then. Maybe because the war broke out on the day we were supposed to graduate on July 13th, or any other reason.

But all i hope is nice weather, normal life features, and smooth celebration. I hope that day be as i want it.

September

 

Its a boring season... although it brought with it some peace, but yet its a month that I really hate.

I hate it coz my school used to start in it.

I hate it coz my University (HCU) used to start in it.

I hate coz it includes September 11.

I hate it coz the summer ends within it.

I hate it coz a very difficult incident happened in my life during it 3 years ago, but thanks god it passed.

But i may love it, coz during this month, i may get the OK for my new job. No questions for now, i will ell you later.

Legally... I Masterd

Monday August 21, 2006, at 1:30 pm, i received my hard copy of my Masters Degree from the Business Office from NDU;

With my right hand i will turn the tesle from the left to the write side of the cap.

So, now i declare myself a Masters Degree Graduate for the year 2006.

 

Since the graduation ceremony was postponed until an undeclared date due to the military operations that took place for 33 days in Lebanon from July 12 till August 13, i didnt find anyway to celebrate the receival of my Degree in any way other than this.

 

Thanks a lot in advance for any greetings.

 

END

Retardedness

In our modern days, it seems quite embarrassing to expose a version or a slice of a population in any country as being retarded. Retarded here comes as, if i can define, as a way of thinking not as it express physically. So, it is a problem for a population to contain retarded group of people inheriting a way of thinking, and what a way of thinking, maybe that has expired 100 years ago due to the great progress that has occurred in technology, archeology, and way of living.

 

Now you may be wondering, what the hell I am talking about?! In this concern, I mean those group of people who carry a way of thinking that no longer appear feasible at least for Lebanon; Lebanon can no longer handle such extremist way of thinking. We have been thrown into a war that does not even carry any nationalistic title. We, or our complementary public, fought for regional emperrors that carry tremendous geographic, demographic, and economic resources that we dont have, and can fight not just a war, but dozens of them, and can afford to prepare not only hundreds, but thousands if not millions of Jihadist's who can fight the Hizballa's style and maybe better, definitely better; to add, these regional countries lack something we have, creativity and love of life; we know how to live, we know how become modernized while conserving our culture. This touch of life is missing with them, and thats why they hate this country and never want it florish.

 

At last, its no longer acceptable to have your home destructed, your children killed, and your parents handicapped and still say "I care less", its for the sake of the Sayyid; At least me, i cant imagine myself saying that. why?? Just because nobody can feel the others as he feels himself; when my home is destructed for a cause that i have nothing to do with, then my home, which is my personal history is lost for nothing. I think if everybody in Lebanon, or somebody in order not to generalize, thinks like that, then Lebanon will survive and thrive and retardedness will become soluble.

 

END

The rise of political analysts in the ME

It could be the most confusing war we have witnessed here due to the large number, if not "huge", of the political analysts spreading all over the Local as well as the Arab and International screens. For any ordinary person who doesn't have any simple, or let us say, medium knowledge about how politics work, then a complete mess and confusion is created in his mind that definitely will corrupt his simple understanding to the things taking place before until he/she will stop and ask himself this question: "Am I really living in the middle of all of this?" or "How shallow i am, i didnt even think of it in that way?" and many more.

 

The diversity of political backgrounds takes place in Lebanon, but we have reached a situation where most of still-thriving TV stations want to fill their On-Air programs with rising, or if we can say, un-established analysts who don't know really who they support and who they don't. They dont have black or white, they are messed and lost in their grey region.

Back to Beirut

35 days since i left my home and my life in Beirut. I just came back this night, but everything seems changing to me. As if i am driving my car i a district that I visit for the first time. I dont know how to describe that feeling. I cant say its only sadness; I cant say its only depression; I cant say its only a deep wound. Its a part of everykind and a bunch of more.

How it looks like? I came in the dark; I intended to arrive here with the dark shadowing up the place in order not to see destruction, not to see people, not to see the atmosphere. I Intended not to see anything sad, but its all there, u dont have to see it, u are just obliged to feel it. Thats definitely not Beirut; Its definitely not; Its not that place of fun and lights, not that place of un-stopping movement, not that place of modernity and civilization. I dont know if I can say the another Katrina passed by this place and turned everything upside down. Its a picture that i hope to delete from my memory, and not recover it again. Its my first time to see Beirut like that. Sadness surrounds every corner, even the Down Town. I intended to take a turn before reaching home just to see if life is still there. Eveerything still in place. The table at Kiub's restaurant is still in its place, but its attendants are not. Its not that place that i used to come to and watch the World Cup at. I am sad again, I dont know till when.

The streets are nearly empty; with one or two taxis wondering to find some passengers. In this time they should be crowded, full, and buzy all the time. But If they still come to this place, their passengers left it... till when, thats the question.

The hot humid air, full with the smell of war, of burning oil, full CO2, and enriched with carbon monoxide. Its not our breeze. Its definitly not. Its not the wind of the sea and the breeze of the hill. Its not. Again till when this dark cloud will remail managing our atmosphere, I dont have the answer.

In this night, I dont know if i can say goodnight. but anyways, for the remaining hope we have in this country, I shall say it: "Good Night Beirut, Good Night Lebanon".

END

Hours before cease fire

Its now 12:30 am; Six and a half hours before the cease fire agreement takes action. But till then, tonight seams to be a horrible night. Here, we hear tremendous amount of bommings greater than any night in the month of war. We hear F16s in the air, MK spy planes breaking the silence with their terrible noise, and far enogh cannons shelling the mountains heavier than before. Its a natural fenomena before the war ends. Every team starts to empty his drawer and use excessively his weapons trying to kill and destroy as much as possible from the other part.

Tomorrow will be another day.

Diaries From the war (Part I)

The 12th of July was supposed to be a nice, hot, and summery day in Lebanon; A day of ordinary crowded streets with multinational passports’ bearers wondering through Beirut’s different districts and corridors. Streets either with public restaurants with manageable prices dispersed on the edges, fashion stores displaying their latest inventories, and people walking under the hot sun rays either for leisure and shopping or where the prestigious Gucci, Givenchy, Massimo Dutti, Aishti…etc stores where prices, although high, but still find their shoppers from Local sects or from Europe and the Gulf.

No one was thinking that any thing abnormal may take place since our political leaders did confirm to calm political dialogues in this season in order to conserve stability. From there, everyone was relaxing, and concentrating on making the ultimate benefit of the period.

With a glance, everything turned grey with news coming from the south about a military operation on the southern borders where two Israeli soldiers were kidnapped by Hezbollah. It was supposed to be as any other operation that Hezbollah undergoes there and the reaction would be contained. Mr. Hassan Nasralla conducted a press conference which in a way or another had put the expected Israeli reaction within limits and did confirm that there should be no worries from the escalating Israeli speeches that started to hail the press with statements calling for a painful military counterattack all around Lebanon if the soldiers were not returned within 24 hours.

I did expect some military escalations in the same pattern that took place in May 27th the same year. But as the hours passed in that day, things started to be taken more seriously on the political as well as on the public side; Israel raised its speech threshold, and breaking news started transmitting news about an expected military operation that would change the political background in Lebanon and the region.

That day, I left to NDU in the afternoon to attend the final rehearsal of the commencement ceremony that was supposed to take place next day i.e. July 13th. That night, we stayed till 10 pm on campus. Everyone was talking about the expected military escalation taking place and some news where mentioning bridge attacks in Saida and Damour. Personally, I expected to witness a terrible night in Beirut. I expected to see the Israeli F16s bombing the electric facilities in Jomhour and Bsalime on the Eastern and North Eastern sides of Beirut. Not only me, but many of my colleagues expected the same thing to take place.

After the rehearsal, I went to have dinner with Jannet Elias in Molin D’or near NDU. It was a nice dinner, but I had the feeling that something terrible is underway. In the restaurant, LBC was displaying their breaking news bars on the bottom of the screen continuously. Attacks on the south, on bridges, on main roads, and on southern villages accompanied with a continuous escalating Israeli speech that Lebanon will be rolled-back 20 years towards the past. What that meant, simply destruction of our infrastructure and economy.

The second morning, on July 13, I was expected to attend my graduation ceremony at NDU at 4:00pm. I stayed watching TV all the morning hours, following the events. Everything showed that we are under an Israeli military attack that will have to limits in the coming days. I called NDU asking if any schedule changes have been made. They replied that everything will take place as planned. I gave my parents a call and confirmed the ceremony. They were in Bekaa following the news and frankly they didn’t expect the graduation to take place. They moved to Beirut, and while they were parking, they heard on the radio that NDU have cancelled the ceremony planned on July 13th. I felt guilty, making them move all that distance for nothing. We started talking about the matters. My mom was worried about what is happening, she told me that they didn’t sleep last night because of the roaring and bombing of planes in the south; we are usually familiar with such sounds since we are close to the south and it was a routine thing to take place in the period that proceeded May 2000, the Liberation of the south.

Dad wanted to leave immediately, especially after the dropping of leaflets over Beirut calling all the people of Beirut’s Southern Suburb, known as Dahye’, to evacuate the area before night falls. From our balcony, we started witnessing traffic. Things were so unorganized, and panic started rising. I have never seen Beirut in such a condition and I didn’t really expect to see Beirut in a state of war in my life. Me myself didn’t want to leave to Bekaa. But my dad insisted on me because there were threats to target Dahr L Baidar bridge that night, and it is considered our main exit to our home in West Bekaa where expected calmness would remain.

We moved there at around 10:00 pm. Roads were nearly empty and a state of carefulness was wrapping the region. We reached home at 11:10 pm. And turned the TV on. Footage of smoke and fire were filling the screen. Beirut was under attack. I didn’t know how to feel. I felt scared and confused. I was worried that the attacks cover all Beirut. The Beirut we all love; the city of modernity and vitality; the place of pleasure and happiness; the center of life. I didn’t want to watch more, I prayed for God to blind Israel’s eyes from our city, and keep us this hope of a beautiful place, of a flourishing future, and a place we had a lot of memories in. What really scared me is to pass through the same experience our parents lived. (to be continued)

My First Step to Being a Journalist

From my past, i mean severals years earlier, i knew that i have the writing talent, especially things related to politicals commentairies; I have a style which i lately realized that it may get the attention of the editor or gatekeeper from among thousands of articles stacked infromt of him on his desk.

I took the chance to write an article; i made it touching and impressing and enriched it with stunning vocabularies that reflect my knowledge on what i am really writing about.

Last Monday, i mean April 3rd, 2006, i received several phone calls congratulating me for my corner in Annahar News Paper; I was really confused and shocked for this wonderful news that i was hearing but i acted upon my callers as if i knew that this was going to happen and replied to then in gratitude.

This is an important step in my life which i will work upon it to make it lead to other successful moments and maybe someday reach what i am planning to be.

The article will be scanned and posted later; just give me time.

END

The "Boosta" Movie or "the Bus" in English

Last Monday, in our way back from registration at NDU, me, Samer, and the wonderful Rayya went out to discover the journey of the "Boosta"; Lebanese film by "Philipe Araktonjy" a young Lebanese Director with a French Movie-Making backround.

I am very shy to tell that this out-going or trip if i can call it, if not a "journey", took us a three month period in order to implement. Three months went after the movie was introduced to the theaters and we still didnt agree on a final date to watch it. I will emphasize any more on the lateness issue of plan implementation since i am accused of it due to my Mountain vacations, but i will move on and not say additional words that may damage some ties. To tell you more, the whole theater was full of two guys and a girl ALONE, with their eyes pinned to the giant screen which came to swallow us. YES, we were alone in the 3 pm show time enjoying our VIP seets and vaccumed floor carpet.

The most important thing is that we reached the screen at last. It was a rainy day, messy if i can say, but nice after filling our stomaches with Hardees junkies, although very tasty.

If i want to telltale the story of the film, it talks about a group of diversified Lebanese youngs, by diversified I mean that from various religious sects, trying to form a dancing team but on their own modernized style; they wanted to modernice the traditional, cultural dance "the DABKEH" and manipulate its moves to meet trance rythyms with some pop and rock lines.

The move is great, I was well directed, well shooted, and well art-directed; It was shoot in the traditional Lebanese places starting from Aley, to Rachaya, to Baalbek, to Jounieh, and ends in Anjar. These towns resemble the religious belonging of each member of the group. They used to staudy in their childhood at the ALey School which was destroyed by the civil war; Rachaya reflects the Druz, Baalbek the Shites, and Jounieh the Christians.

After 15 years of exile in France, Kamal returns to Beirut with his mind set on one goal: recreate the dance group he had formed with his school friends and whom he hasn’t seen since – but today, not only does he want to bring back this disparate group together, but also take the bold move of introducing a Western flavor to the traditional Dabkeh music.

When the dancers audition before the jury of the national Dabkeh festival, they are curtly rejected on the basis that they are causing prejudice to the “only cultural icon left”. This prompts them to refurbish their old school bus and embark on a road trip across Lebanese towns to perform and introduce their pioneering dance to the public.

As they struggle to win people over to their alternative spirit, each of the dancers also realizes that they have also embarked on a personal journey to bond with their childhood, their friendships lost and found, the pains of the war and of separation… a journey that will lead a group of friends to turn the page on a painful past.

Bosta is a road musical that takes the audience on a wonderful journey across various Lebanese regions… a journey accompanied by a groundbreaking track and, of course, this truly pioneering dance, the electro-dabkeh.

The bus was the main cause of the civil war in 1975; It was the Ain Remmeneh incident that caused the broke of the civil war; But in this movie its role was resiprocated to become the tool that gathered all those Lebanese on a sole-main cause.

I was stunned by the movie, and i am willing to watch it again. I am very glad and proud to have such young and empowered directors like Philip Araktonji that are promising to revive the Lebanese cinema productions.

Lebanon never dies, coz its people are the Phoenix; They recreate and emerge from the ashes what so ever our enemies try to do.

Semester In, Semester Out

Time is running so fast; Sometimes I feel afraid of failing to catch and cope with its momentum.

It is running so fast just as a subway train. I am getting into something until I find it turning to become a nice or bad memory.

The Fall 2005 semester is over. Although it was one of the most buzy and work-worthy semesters, but i was satisfied with its result that came out after considerable efforts that i invested throughout that period. I am not talking about the A's and B +'s, but about the amount of new information Ive got from some courses and eliminating others (especially that course with mister AAA).

The new spring semester started. I took a full load program, i.e. 12 credits or four courses that will entitle me to graduate this semester and start my job hunting journey based on a real Masters degree rather than being a "current" stage still taking place as mentioned on my CV.

I am promising myself a fine job in Dubai, since all my hopes are evaporating here in Lebanon, with the continuing political and security unrest. I am trying to catch the middle if not the top of the ladder, since I will try to move forward aggressively and hunt the best position in STARCOM DUBAI not based on the people i know there (my cosin being hired as its CEO lately) but based on my knowledge in the field acquired throughout the passing semester. I will not hesitate anymore because it will not be acceptable after now to be a jobless-highly educated Lebanese especially that I am going to levae NDU after three months.

Till that date, I will try to incorporate all my efforts on a multi dimentional scale in order to maintain high colledge grades, more knowledge, and the best job post.

Wish me the appropriate amount of luck.

Be blessed.